'Stomachache' nostalgia"Almost Lover" has been stuck in my head all day. I've been thinking about plastic stars and pink elephants. Feathers and coffee mugs. Bubbles. The Dragon. You know I still have a story about that? It's one of my favorites....
It's silly. I know. That's all it is. I know it wouldn't be the same. So much has changed. It never stops. Realism hasn't always been my strong suit.
Wherever you are, I hope you're well and happy. I hope you pet cats and eat desserts. Dance and smile often. And sing.
I don't know. I never will. But I'll always wonder.
don't lay your sorrows at my feetI could tell that the therapist was waiting for a meltdown.
Maybe it was the way she was perched on the edge of her seat, as though she didn't want to miss anything good, notepad balanced on her bony knees. There was a box of Kleenex on the table in front of her, the tissue sticking up fluttering slightly under the air conditioning, like a little flag. Neither of us had said anything since I came into the office and said our hellos - now there was just an intensely awkward silence.
Well, it was awkward for me, anyway.
Some kids might have jumped at the chance to skip classes for psychiatric sessions, but I couldn’t have picked something I wanted to do less than talk to a stranger about what happened, even if it did mean I got away from the staring and the whispering for a little while. The numberless clock on the wall ticked loudly as I glanced around the room with its 'neutral' earth tones and trying to avoid Dr. Rosenthal's painfully earnest expression. Presumably she knew why
Drink and DriveI went to Bobbys party
It started about half past three
And would not end in till
at least five till eleven thirty
You were staying home alone
Because these things where never your scene
I brought my car
Even though his house wasnt that far
Just take a left down Winston lane
And two rights till you see Fair Oaks name
Then three lefts and one more right
Where you hit intersections game.
And take that road of Damnigntons
And there you be at 0400 Willow Pane.
The party started
Of course its loud
Theres lots of drinking going all around
But baby youll be proud of me
Cause I havent even touch anything
That would cause me to become very dizzily
That make me swerved very dangerously
Because I wanted to come back to you
Which is why I took my car
Cause walking would be too damn hard
For its slow and I miss you too much by far
And I couldnt wait to see you
Thats why I drove my car
When the light turne
One Step Forward, Two Steps BackWhen one thing goes right
Everything else has to go wrong, doesn't it?
Like trudging up a mountain side on a clear day
Yet somehow still being caught in an avalanche
And being buried under snow
Wheezing and pushing for air
And still somehow everyone else
They're somehow paddling to shore
While you're barely catching a breath
Every now and again you catch some air
It's wonderful, it's serenity
Your lungs no longer sting as much as they used to
Yet even with the sea at its calmest
Something still finds a way to drag you under
Dragging you further than you have ever been before
Far enough until you no longer see the mountain
Until you no longer see the sky
And you are filled with this bleak, black hole
Shivers running up and down your spine
As you dig the water with your hands
Yet somehow it doesn't work
ItI feel myself fading from existence
I'm clawing to remain consistent
I hug my insecurity
Like it's an old friend
As I search for some sort of liberty
I wish this doubt
Didn't stop me from crying out
So I'll weep on Its shoulder
With Its claws scrapping into my shoulder
As It whispers to me softly
I wish I'd built up resistance
I wish I had some subsistence
With the waves crashing over me
Softly pulling me underneath
Like a duvet during the storm of thunder
That's screaming in my head